#REminiscene – Wrecking.
“I am so sorry that I could not barely catch the pitch you’ve sent to me.
I failed to decode, once again.”
•
I took a long nap to forget my guilty feeling, two days a night maybe. Neither I remember. But one thing I know is, I woke up with the worst same feeling. My hair just so wildly messes like my cousin’s handwriting on the wall. One second later, I questioned myself, why the hell am I still breathing?
“Do you realize that I starred deeply into your eyes, sometimes I got lost on yours.” I didn’t. “Hazel gave me a hug last time we’re met. When will I get yours?” I didn’t. “I made two cups of coffee. You should come here and enjoy with me.” I didn’t. “The rain won’t stop. I feel blue right now. Don’t you feel the same?” I didn’t.
Bad girl. I’m such a bad girl to choose not to break the “ice” within me whilst you tried to grant me a lot of warm hugs. All I did was ignoring your calls, denying every single clue that might lead me to your tale, and I keep myself caged like I don’t need you at all. I became someone I don’t want repeatedly. And I couldn’t be worse than this.
I was so scared that you might left me behind if I took one step closer to you. This blank space between us was enough for me. At least for my defense. But it turns out that I was wrong. I was wicked all this time to prevent all your kindness you gave me.
I’m sorry if I could not say sorry. Maybe it’s just my power of not knowing everything.
—cloudsans March 10th, 2021 / 16:00